The Truman Show

"We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."

Damn. 

A Streetcar Named Desire

(I'm home for three months. My only goals are to get fit and educate myself in books and films that I've been meaning to read and watch. Call it pretentious or whatever, I'm going to try to post here about my thoughts on the ones that leave an impact on me.)

Today's movie was A Streetcar Named Desire. I knew absolutely nothing about it before I watched it. Netflix recommended it, I downloaded it. It's black and white, and Wikipedia tells me that it's what made Marlon Brando famous.

It started off corny, with a woman getting onto an actual srtreetcar (a tram) that was named "Desire", to reach the house her sister, Stella, shared with her husband, Stanley, in the poorer part of town. Blanche duBois annoyed me. She was an obvious misfit in the Quarter, and seemed far flightier than necessary. She looked down upon the house Stella and Stanley lived in, and called Stanley common. Just pissed me off. Especially because it was obvious Stanley and Stella were in love, who cares about their run down house if they're happy together? Stella definitely didn't care. She understood Stanley under his brutish behavior and genuinely loved him. Stanley seemed like a stand up guy. Quick to anger, and uncouth, but a decent guy all around. He was madly in love with Stella, and was doing well in the factory he worked in. His friends from the factory all got together for beer and poker, and bowling from time to time. They were all loud, had love-hate relationships with there wives, and reveled in violence. Torn shirts and bruised faces were the norm. But, things were running along just fine.

As the movie progressed, complexities were revealed. Blanche obviously had problems with her mental health, triggered by a horrifying incident. Stanley beat his wife, and raped her sister. Stella always went back to him. By the time the movie ended, I was confused about my feelings for all of them.

I don't know what I learned from the movie. There seemed to be no message, apart from the fact that all the themes they covered are still very much relevant.

#1 Mental Health is considered a sissy issue. If you have anxiety, or PTSD, or any other condition, you're just to be written off. People try to help you by shouting the truth at you, and calling you a liar for imagining things. Very, very disturbing.

#2 "No, I won't marry you. You're not clean enough to take home to my mother." I don't think this needs elaboration.

#3 Rape is a way of establishing dominance; it need not be sexual.

#4 Patterns in behavior have to be broken. In the original play, Stella is comforted by Stanley and the men continue their poker game. In the movie, Stella takes her baby and vows to never return to Stanley. What is the last straw? How do you recognize it? Can people ever change their essential nature?


We live in a fucked up world. That is all.

Shaadi Mubaarak!

One of my best friends got married a few days ago. I'm happy for her, I really am. But, it's a bittersweet sort of happiness.  

Our friendship was always...there. I don't know how to explain it exactly. It's like whenever I came back home, I knew I would meet her. We would never get overly excited to meet each other because it always seemed like we were picking up from the last time we spoke/met. You know, how with some people you have a certain comfort regardless of how long it's been since you met them last? That's what we're like. 

Or were like, should I say. Not that we won't meet or talk anymore. But, it's going to be different. She is part of a tag team, now. Everything will be a joint decision. And they've been dating for a while, so it's not like they weren't important for each other before. But, there's something about marriage that enhances that relation. Everything else just fades into the background. 

You know, I've been trying to think why things change, or why marriage is just not the same as being in a long term relationship. Is it that it works as an announcement to the world? But, relationships work like that, as well. Is it that families are involved? No, that's true for a lot of relationships, too. Co-habitation? Not necessarily true for all marriages, and it could  happen even before.

I don't have any solid answers. What I do know is that it feels like the end of an era. 

I Made It! (Or So I'm Told.)

B School results are out. Looks like I'm heading to Ahmedabad for two years. Bye bye beer, butter chicken, and lazing around. Sigh.

Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't be sounding so weary already. It's an exciting opportunity and I'll get to meet like-minded professionals and network and all that business-y crap. I'm absolutely thrilled I got in. Really. But, I can't help but dread it, a little. Can't put my finger on the reason.

Maybe it's because this is hardly going to be like DU, where I studied only to save myself from flunking out. This is going to mean hitting the ground running and trying my best to be among the top half of the class at all times. If I want to "succeed", that is.

Which brings me to a more philosophical question. What is this success?

Does it mean earning a seven figure salary (or more)? Does it mean getting the best placement in your school? Does it mean launching your own start up and become one of those wildly controversial and successful (that word again) flip-flops-and-shorts wearing CEOs? Or does it mean having your own personal definition of success, the world's opinion be damned?

How long does the golden period last? How soon till I want to switch jobs? Will I be doing the same thing ten years, twenty years, thirty years later? If not, will I have "wasted" my management education?

Gah. Someone please stop this train.

Haven't Written Here In A While

I'm writing this only because I woke up in the middle of the night (thanks to an ill-timed text by a friend) and I haven't been able to sleep since. 

It seems I've forgotten why I wanted to keep a blog. I mean, I already have a journal. So, what is the purpose of this blog? Especially because I'm not exactly forthright with details here. Maybe I had a clear vision in my head when I started this. Maybe I just wanted to be one of the cool kids. Whatever it was, the reason is eluding me, now. 

For posterity's sake, I'll give you (who is this you, even?) a general update of my life since my last post. 

I finished my course at Xavier's. Worked in Delhi for a bit. Quit. (After two months, to be exact. If there was a Flakiest Employee Award, it would be mine.) Studied for the CAT. Hurt my leg in an accident and was restrained to the bed for two months. Took the CAT. Chilled for a month. Got my CAT result. (It wasn't terrible. That's all I'm saying.) Chilled for two months/gave B School interviews. Started working with an IPL Team. Finished interviews. Still working with said IPL Team. Waiting for B School results to come out. 

That's how my life is going to end. In anticipation. May not be the worst way to go, if you think about it. At least you're looking forward to whatever is coming. 

Kay, I don't know what else to write. Until next time!

Waitin' On The World To Change

Note: Had tried and failed to publish this on the 10th of November. Got lazy and forgot about it until now. So, yeah. This is a week old.  

What an anti-climactic start to my second semester. I'm waiting at the Chandigarh airport because my flight has been delayed. Indefinitely, it seems. 

The only rays of sunshine while everyone waits for an announcement are two little kids who are playing some game - that only the two of them seem to understand - and laughing their asses off. 

I looked away for a second, a while ago, and noticed everybody around me also looking at the kids with similar wry smiles on their faces. Perhaps envying their ability to laugh even when their parents were trying to reason out the delay. 

Life Lessons Learnt Today: 1 

It's time.

I can't believe my 40 day stay in North India is up already. 

Good decision to take that internship in Delhi. My stay was eventful, to say the least. 

That's all.