Waitin' On The World To Change

Note: Had tried and failed to publish this on the 10th of November. Got lazy and forgot about it until now. So, yeah. This is a week old.  

What an anti-climactic start to my second semester. I'm waiting at the Chandigarh airport because my flight has been delayed. Indefinitely, it seems. 

The only rays of sunshine while everyone waits for an announcement are two little kids who are playing some game - that only the two of them seem to understand - and laughing their asses off. 

I looked away for a second, a while ago, and noticed everybody around me also looking at the kids with similar wry smiles on their faces. Perhaps envying their ability to laugh even when their parents were trying to reason out the delay. 

Life Lessons Learnt Today: 1 

It's time.

I can't believe my 40 day stay in North India is up already. 

Good decision to take that internship in Delhi. My stay was eventful, to say the least. 

That's all. 

Things (You Learn) To Do At An Internship

1. Use the hand dryer to dry off the absolute last droplet of water that remains on your hands after washing them. 

2. Ask for free office coffee confidently. 

3. Make Facebooking seem like SRS BSNS. 

4. Eavesdrop on conversations. 

5. Read the newspaper cover to cover. 

6. Take screenshots on your laptop. 

7. Learn about the Snipping Tool and realize it's much more convenient than taking screenshots. 

8. Make a presentation about anything and everything. 

9. Ask questions. 

10. Make pointless lists. 

Don't leave the brownies behind.

Yesterday, I attended the last class of my first semester at XIC. 

Today morning, I woke up late and almost missed my flight. In my hurry, I left behind The Yummiest Chocochip Brownies Ever. All twelve of them. 

Right now, I'm on a plane that's going to take me home to Chandigarh. 

Tomorrow, I will travel to Delhi and stay there for a month to intern at a digital advertising agency.

Then, home for Diwali. 

Life is good. 

 

Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

I sometimes get these panic attacks when I'm least expecting them. It's like that feeling you used to get on the last day of the summer holidays when you have six unfinished holiday projects due the next day.

So, I'll be walking out of college and will suddenly be struck by that special blend of guilt and anxiety, making me think I've forgotten to do something really important, when there's absolutely nothing that I'm supposed to. I can't explain it.

Maybe it's a sign?

Oh, won't you please take me home?

It's been about two months in this city and until two days ago, I still felt as if I was on vacation. You can't blame me. At every step, there was a mental comparison between my host city and my home city. One is bound to feel this shift is of a temporary nature. 

Two days ago, however, that changed. There was no trigger, as such, except the fact that I reached the sudden realization that I would miss winter entirely, this year. 

Now, this is a pretty big deal for me. I'm a complete winter baby, you see. I love that season. I love snuggling up in a razai at night. I love blowing on a scaldingly hot cup of tea to cool it down enough for me to not burn my tongue - and then burning it anyway. I love bundling up under layers and layers of warm clothes and putting on lots of holiday fat. (I'm not really lagging behind in the gaining weight bit, though. I'm doing a little too well for my liking, in fact.) 

If all of that doesn't prove my love for winter, maybe this will: I packed sweatshirts and jackets even for Mumbai.

(My leather jacket almost got ruined because of all the moisture here. I had to send it back.)

Anyway. So, I realized I would miss winter. That led me to think about a typical winter at home. Chandigarh. The family. I became terribly and irreversibly homesick.

Crybaby that I am, I teared up. 

Whatever. 

That's when Mumbai changed from being a city I'm currently in to a city I'm living in. 

I'm still trying to figure out what my opinion on this change is, though. 

Waiting for a Miracle.

Well, I'm in Mumbai. [Yes, this is me shamelessly ripping off a Raghu Dixit song. Whatever. It fits.]

It's been about two weeks and everything is still shiny and new. As someone said yesterday, it's raining elephants and giraffes, not cats and dogs. I'm not even tired of the incessant rain, right now. Let's hope it stays that way.

College is fun. Learning shitloads every single day and I wouldn't have it any other way. I was apprehensive of my ability to sit still in my chair for multiple two-hour sessions everyday, but I surprised myself. It probably has to do with the teaching style being interactive here. That coupled with the fact that this subject really interests me. So, y'know. 

I'm still discovering Bombay. Last Sunday, I spent three hours in the early morning just walking around and watching the city wake up around me. I think I'm going to do it again this Sunday. 

My Saturdays are working, so it limits the scope of the weekend. Still, I try and make the most of it. 

One phrase I'm really getting tired of, though, is "out of the box". Oh, Lord. You'd think advertising people would at least try to be a little more diverse in their choice of words. 

Time for a jog, now. 

Later. 

New beginnings.

I'm not as sad about college ending, now. Nostalgia is bound to hit, I'm sure. But, I'm looking towards the future. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff moments before jumping off. The thrill of anticipation. Somehow, the unknown doesn't seem so scary. 

Maybe it's because I've finally made up my mind about what I want to do in life. Maybe because, for the first time, I am in a position to fully appreciate the kind of support my family has given me, despite not fully agreeing with my decisions. Maybe it's because I'm flying out to Bombay just for a day right in the middle of exams. 

Whatever the reason, it's a good feeling. The kind that should be recorded at this moment in time. 

This is the end.

College is almost over. This sounds cliched, but I don't know where three years just flew by. I can still clearly picture the night before my first day in college and how excited I was to finally start a new, more independent life.

Cut to the present, my farewell is in two weeks. It all seems a little surreal.

Meanwhile, I have no idea what I'm going to be doing after college. SP Jain results are going to be out any day now and I'm getting really anxious. This is going to be one of those moments I'll look back to and say, "That's where it all changed."

I feel like I'm being forced to walk a gangplank. To jump off into the unknown with absolutely no preparation. I'm not ready for this.

I miss texting and emailing.

Don't get me wrong. Whatsapp is cool and everything. And Messenger is really convenient for sending links and sharing videos. Innovations in technology are great.

I miss not knowing when the receiver gets my message. The anticipation of a reply. Not knowing when the actual typing is happening. I sometimes don't want people to know just how much time it's taking me to frame a particular message.

Maybe it's just me. Some people find it easy to just read a message - letting the other person know they have - and still not replying. I think it's impolite, though. As a result, I've got week-old emails in my inbox that I still haven't read because I haven't found the time to reply. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be to know that the other person has read your message, but still hasn't replied?

Sigh. Sometimes, technology does more bad than good.

All I Know.

I miss being able to just pick up the phone and call you to tell you something funny I witnessed. I miss your reactions. I miss hearing the slight crack in your voice and your perpetual cough. I miss the way you scrunched up your face in mock-anger when I did something stupid, but funny. I miss you calling me by the idiotic nicknames you had for me. I miss being able to steal your jokes and call them my own. I miss you getting pissed when you found out. I miss your Bohemia imitation. I miss you pushing me around like a rag doll. I miss getting irritated and screaming at you. I miss trying to make you laugh with my lameness. I miss seeing you crack a smile even through all the pain.

I miss you so bad.