Can Spring be far behind?

Life is weird right now. On the surface, I’m functioning just fine. My mind, though, is a little screwed up. It’s like everything’s been put into perspective.

I hate the “Hope is Real” ads. This contradicts the title of this post, I know. But, there’s a cocktail of emotions inside me and I just want to get them all out. Anyway, I hate those ads. Statistics can be twisted to provide comfort. Hell, life is just a play on statistics. Birth rate, death rate, IMR, life expectancy.

I don’t know how people can believe in God. Religion is just another form of comfort. And don’t even get me started on astrology and kundlis. Sab bakwaas hai.

I’m aware that I sound borderline crazy. This, too, shall pass.

The Wilhelm Scream–James Blake.

Freedom To Not Protest.

I had my personal space invaded today by a smiling, middle-aged woman [presumably associated with India Against Corruption]. She walked up to me and started pinning a paper badge of the tri-colour onto my t-shirt, ignoring me when I said I didn’t want to put it on.

If I don’t join the protests against corruption/for the right to protest/whatever the cause is now, do I automatically become a part of the problem?

If I don’t support Hazare, do I become less of a patriot?

Days Go By.

This song has been stuck in my head for two whole days, now. Hadh hi ho gayi.

It's been a good day. Nothing substantial happened, if that's what you're thinking. Just one of those days when you laugh like a maniac for no other reason than the fact that you're really, truly happy. I like feeling like this.
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It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day

I’m in a funny sort of mood. Things have not exactly been going the way I want them to, but for some strange reason, I’m starting not to care either way. So, even though I didn’t do so great on my exams and the guy I like thought he liked me and then realized he didn’t, you’ll find me saying, “chalo, koi ni” and moving on.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing that nothing deters me or if it’s bad because it means that things don’t affect me anymore.

Actually, things do affect me. Too much, maybe. For all my pessimistic statements about nothing ever turning out right, there’s another voice inside me that hopes that the tide will turn in my favour, this time. Even after all the disappointments I’ve faced, I know tomorrow will be a better day.

 

 

Aayehaaye, I just re-read what I’ve written and I sound like such an angsty teenager. Time to go slap myself.

P.S. I’d tweeted about writing a review on the latest Harry Potter movie. Ended up not writing it, as is obvious. Nothing beats the books. ‘nuff said.

All Kinds of Time

I’ve been having this sick feeling in the gut for a couple of weeks, now. It’s like the anxiety symptom when you have the fear of impending doom. Can’t shake it off.

Been having weird mood-swings off late, too. Sometimes I think I might have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Ek toh the initials are so ironic.

Headed to Bombay on the 9th. Think being with family might fix me.

Six Feet From The Edge

What does it take for someone to kill themselves?

Board results are out and news of suicides has already started pouring in. Is it really just the mark sheet that causes kids today to jump off that ledge, literally and metaphorically? 

Someone I knew took that leap today.

I’d spoken to her a couple of times. My parents know her parents. She studied Math from my 12th grade tutor. Her Facebook updates always flooded my Newsfeed.

And now she’s just not there.

Stuff and Bother

University exams begin in two days and all I can think about is chilling after they get over. Not the best way to go about them, I know. Normally, I’d be staying up all night trying to grasp whatever’s been taught the whole year. But, somehow, the exam pressure isn’t getting to me this time.

This is also the first time I’ve lost weight while preparing for a set  of exams. I usually bloat up because my diet consists of chips and Coke during this period.

Gah, nothing’s happening in my life. Apart from a dream I had that turned out be a premonition. Freaky. But, freakier than that was the fact that I liked feeling that all was lost. I think I might be the teensiest bit masochistic.

I’ve been in a mellow mood for the longest time. Been listening to a lot of Eric Clapton [If I Could Change The World] and Norah Jones [What Am I To You]. And ofcourse, Jiyein Kyun. That song makes me yearn..for what, I haven’t figured out, yet.

Gotta get back to Macroeconomics, now. Later, alligator!