You know what I hate?

 

Waiting.

I’ve come to realize that I have zero patience. I hate not having what I want when I want it. I plan for the future, yes. But, if I had it my way, I wouldn’t have to because the future would mean right now.

I hate call-waiting with a passion. If I want to talk to someone, I should be put through to them when I call them – after half a ring. The ‘put on hold’ option shouldn’t even exist when someone’s talking to me on the phone. Don’t even talk to me about people not calling back when it’s their turn to.

You know how when you’re almost-best friends with someone you take turns to call each other? Like if they call you once, you call them the next time and vice versa? I hate when people don’t do that. Because I always end up calling/texting even though I did so the last, say, three times and that upsets the whole power-balance in the relationship.

Yes, I think about power-balances even though I’m only eighteen. Yet another back-handed advantage of being a Capricorn.

I should be in the gym right now but, I can't be bothered enough to get up and walk [Yeah, walk. Chandigarh, remember?] to the Club.

What I'm doing instead is flipping through my journal. Now, I've been writing in this one since the 6th of January, 2007 and most of it is filled with rants and general teenage angst. Some of the earlier entries are so cringeworthy, I feel like picking up a marker and editing stuff. And by editing I mean striking the whole thing off.

Some phases of my life that will make your eyes fall out from all the eye-rolling :-

Period: January, 2007
Description: Documenting every insignificant detail of my mundane 8th grade life a lá Mia Thermopolis
Example: 1.5 pages long entry about an aquarium in some airport
Eye-roll rating: 2/5

Period: February, 2007 - November 2008
Description: Unhealthy obsession with Crush-To-End-All-Crushes
Example: 3 pages long entry about how He hugged me on New Year's
Eye-role rating: 4.5/5

Period: January, 2009 - March, 2009
Description: Hindi translation of every entry to help with Hindi Board Exam
Example: Mera apne aap se vayda hai ki main ab se apne vichaar angrezi ke saath-saath Hindi mein bhi likha karoongi. Isse na keval bhasha ki shudhata evam manakta par dhyan diya jaayega...need more?
Eye-roll rating: 3/5


Now that we've succesfully established that I was a loser, I'll head to the gym! Not that it's making much of a difference. 3 weeks of gymming and all I've managed to lose is 60 grams. Seriously. -_-

Anyway. I'm off!


PS: Why is CBSE hell-bent on fucking with our lives? It hasn't even declared the date for the results, yet! Result nikalna to door ki baat hai.

Bloody brothers. I hate them.

Mine is younger to me by 2 and a half years but acts like HE'S older. He's the only person I've ever told to fuck off. I can't help it. He makes me want to tear my hair out and just let loose with the screaming. He has reduced me to an IronMaiden listening-journal ranting-cursing teenager.

I never wanted to be that kid. The kind who shouts, slams doors, hurls abuses and exclaims "You don't understand me!" and "You're ruining my life!" at random intervals. The lines are said to the 'rents when they talk in that irritatingly calm voice that basically just sides with your little brother over the voice of reason [a.k.a. Me] and in doing so, irritate you even more. But that's exactly who I HAVE become - I am loath to admit. So cliche.

The latest annoying incident concerning the fraternus irritatus is him sauntering into MY room, taking away MY bottle of Coke and walking away with it. All the while blatantly ignoring my shouts. Aaaargh. You don't take away my Coke! It's just not done. My fixation with having my own Coke is like Joey's with food. [Joey doesn't share his FOOD!] But, my dear little annoying brother did just that. Took away my Coke. And then proceeded to ignore me when I asked him to return it. Just because he's had a bloody growth spurt and I can no longer beat him up. Uff. How I long for those days when *I* was the one throwing HIM onto the sofa and having the power to beat him to pulp.

Sigh. Good times.

Grow UP.

Why why WHY does this happen?

Just when I finally start to really like a guy, I find something about him that puts me off. I mean, I know Rocky thinks grammar is of absolutely no use while writing and he uses those annoying short forms like "ma" for "my" and "da" for "the" on facebook. Also, almost everything he posts on his guy friends' walls is followed by "bro". Case in point: "Thanx bro. How are you bro?" Ugh.

And that's okay. Loads of people write like that. S'not a problem. But, what I found out IS.

He's shorter than me.

I know, I know. You're prolly wondering why I hadn't noticed that in all this while. The thing is, we're almost always sitting. In tuition. Even when we're waiting to be picked up outside tuition, we're always sitting on somebody or the other's scooty or on the steps or something. Or one of us is sitting and the other is standing. And he looked tall enough. Imagine my surprise when I stand next to him and find that he doesn't come up to the mark. Quite literally.

I'm 5'8" and a half. And I've always been kinda conscious of my height. [That and my shoe size, 9. S'not MY fault I'm tall. And it's not really an anomaly! Bloody shopkeepers with their astonished looks and "itna BADA pair kaise kar liya aapne?!" Nonsense.] Ek to because I was always the tallest one in my class in Sanskriti. [Didn't matter so much in Carmel, because all of us were kids, then. So.] I was the tallest till the 9th gade when everybody started shooting up. Thank God. [There was only ONE guy who was always taller than me. He was my crush to end all crushes. Liked him for 3 bloody years. He's gone and turned into a jerk, now. But, whatever.]

The point is, I always used to WAIT for the 11th and 12th grades because I thought I wouldn't be the tallest one anymore. But then, we shifted to Chandigarh. And I got admitted into an all-girls school. So, yeah. I'm the tallest again. [Along with another girl who has the same first name as mine. What's in a name, my ass. Maybe it is the name.]

All my hopes rest on college, now. 5 months to go...

Sooo...that half-an-hour-before-tuition thing turned out great. He'd done the assignment already. [Imagine my internal smugness when he told me. :D] So, we sat on the railing of the park outside the tuition place and talked. And talked. And talked. Never ran out of things to say. Even kept talking throughout the duration of the 1.5 hour tuition. Sir had to tell us to shut up. XD

For the sake of this blog, we'll call him Rocky. Not because he's beefed up like Stallone. Or a druggie like Sanjay Dutt.

Oh, and we have a lot in common. Like the fact that we both shifted to Chandigarh in the 11th grade. [He was in BCS, Shimla earlier and I was in Sanskriti, Delhi.] We both are hated by our respective school teachers in Chandigarh but were the faves of the teachers in our old schools. Like the same movies. Both love Heath Ledger [though he loves him in a completely non-gay way] and think it's a tragedy he died.

And he's so cute! We were sitting in tuition and he was telling me about how a friend of his Dad's used to fool him with that thumb-cutting trick [the one where you join both your thumb and then cover and slide so that it looks like you're cutting it] when he was in the 1st grade and how he used to try and figure it out but still didn't know how to. So, I put his hands in formation and showed him. You had to be there to see how excited he got that he could finally do it! X]

Haan. That was a week ago. Since then, there have been smiles and eye-contact and talking - though not as much as that day because A's usually there, too. And because a bench seats 3 people and a lot of bad luck, Arshiya always sits in the middle. [She was absent that day.] Sucks.

Chalo. Exams are a-knockin'. Don't have much time to foola round, anyway. Sigh.

Okay. Day's not so bad.

There's this guy in my accounts and maths tuition.

Tall(er than me. I think.). With 1/(cos c) hair. [sec c = 1/(cos c). Geddit?!] Strong jaw. Hottie vaala face. And very cute gluteus maximus.

We've been talking a lot lately. Sitting together for tuition and all and cracking jokes the whole time. The inevitable happened. Boy-crazy that I am, I developed a crush on him. Which just might be reciprocated, judging by today's happenings.

See. I have Eco tuition at the same place as we have Accounts together immediately after, wokay. So, he goes back after Accounts and I stay on for Eco. The same happened today. The only difference being that when I came out after Eco, he was standing there with his car keys in his hand.

Long story short, he'd driven back to ask me to come half an hour early tomorrow so he could copy my Maths assignment. Oh, and we're not going to sit in class and do it. [Because my maths tutor has a weird habit of spouting his Urdu lessons to people who come early.] Prolly in his car. And I should also mention that a couple of his friends come for tuition, too. He could've easily asked them.

;D

It's out.

The verdict is out. It's none of them. Eheh.

FunnyBoy's a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Yeah, I did think I liked him. But, that was more because of the circumstances. You know, the ambience in Hookah and all. Plus the thrill of trying out something forbidden for the first time. He's nice and all, but no.

HotBum, on the other hand, is kinda boring. Now, that's just my own judgement. [Yeah, I judge guys. So what?] We've been talking on FaceBook and it's such a bloody effort making conversation, it's not even funny. I need a little wordplay for foreplay. Heh.

Oh, and this friend of mine in tuition told me she was advised to "stay away from him" because he apparently has this reputation of spreading nasty rumours about girls he barely knows. So I'm a little wary.

This post got me thinking. Why is it that I always like the losers? First there was TheJerk. He called, flirted, made plans to meet, and cancelled at the last minute because of "some theatre I'm doing". Again and bloody again. Hello? What is THIS nonsense.

Then there was Ice. He was a friend, okay. And we talked a lot because we both were going through the awkward limbo you're in when you've just shifted from, say, Delhi to Chandigarh. [Or Jallandhar in his case.] So, yeah. I developed a crush. And I think he liked me a little, too. Because things started taking a turn towards the "friends with benefits" thing. And it wasn't like I minded much. But, then I find out he's blurting stuff I've told him in confidence out to random people as conversation starters or something. *shakes head*

*sigh* I really do pick 'em, don't I?

Funny No More

What the hell. Just 2 days ago when I told P and G that I might like FunnyBoy, they were very gung-ho about it, saying we'd make a good couple and shit. And suddenly, out of the bloody blue, today when I reached CP after meeting GaGa and Poopin and Tharra and Dada, they're like, no. He's not good for you. That he's rude and cheap and not nice.

Hello? What about the "good vibes" that they got from this thing? Now, they say he's sick because of basically two reasons.

a) He's contemptuous of people who've taken Commerce or Humanities.Well. That's hardly a reason to black-list him. LOTS of people feel that way. In fact, most Indians. And yeah, I don't agree with that view. But to each their own, man. He'll ultimately figure out that sciencies work harder, but earn much lesser in their starting packages than us commerce and humanities people. ; ]

b) He let's girls pay for him when he meets up with people.Okay. That IS cheap. I don't care about the letting GIRLS specifically pay for him vaala part. Just the fact that he doesn't pay for his share.But then again. He's living alone with another guy right now. His dad's outta the country and his (step)mom's in Bombay. He's on a tight budget because his Dad doesn't give him too much allowance. Frugality or something. I don't know.
Yeah, he COULD avoid going out so frequently or something. Self-respect and all.Actually, I don't really have complaints regarding that. We both paid, both the times we met. So. Yeah.

Oh, and G also said that he stinks. And that he whispers bad jokes during Maths class which apparently shows disrespect for their teacher. Oh. Okay. So, I should not like him because of that.

Decisions, Decisions.

Yeah, so I'm kinda confused between these two guys right now. One's a friend in Delhi I rcently re-met and the other's in my Maths and Eco tuitions. Prospects look good with both, actually. But, I'm not really sure which one I like better.

Delhi guy, a.k.a. FunnyBoy, is a lot of fun. Abhi when I met him in Delhi, we met. And I've never thought of him in anything other than a totally platonic way, okay. But, I don't know. Maybe it was the dim lighting and the way I had to look upto him while ensconced on the sofa and he had to look down at me through his fringe. Maybe the fact that he's 6'2" to my 5'8" and I feel SO good standing next to him because I feel small and not-big. Which is basically the same thing, but yeah. Or maybe the fact that I had my first sorta-date with him. It was also the first time he missed a FIITJEE class. Basically to meet me. So, I'm pretty sure there IS some amount of liking.

Tuition Guy, a.k.a. HotBum, is hot. I don't really know him that well. Not at all, actually. The first time we talked was on the last day of Maths tuition (after which I went to Delhi and thought I liked FunnyBoy). I sat next to him. And since the benches are joint, we were practically joined from the hip down. Nayeece. ; D Yeaaah. So, he started talking to me about something related to Eco tuition. And we talked and chuckled on stoopid stuff throughout. Then I went to Delhi and he sent me friend request on FaceBook. And I wrote on his wall. And we're talking, now. He's cute. = ]

No verdict, yet.